On Being Single: Unrealistic Relationship Standards In Films & TV Shows
Growing up, I remember watching every romantic movie I could find in our VHS and DVD collection in the basement. There was something so alluring about finding love and living happily ever after. I was about 10 years old, so it definitely did not seem plausible at the time, but now I’m 19— still single, and still rewatching the same movies, asking myself, why do all of these movies have such unrealistic relationship standards? Titanic, for example, Rose meets Jack when he saves her from trying to kill herself, and then they fall in love in like 2 days. Seems pretty unrealistic right?
SOurce: the hollywood bowl
Being drawn to some of these films and TV shows was solely on the hopes of one day experiencing some of the same heartfelt moments the characters did, but I knew that it was not real life, and nothing really does happen like in the movies. The Princess Bride was one of the first movies that I truly envied the love that the female protagonist, Princess Buttercup, received from her lover Westley. He did anything she asked without hesitation. Westley would simply say “as you wish”, and make Buttercup fall even harder.
Every single part of the story had me ten times more intrigued, from the sword fighting to the undefeatable bond that some of the characters shared. But of course, like every other romantic film, The Princess Bride raised a few concerns and had me saying things like “that would never happen to me” and “yea’ right, guys are literally not that chivalrous”. I carried some of these sayings with me, and with every movie and TV show that illustrated love and relationships in an unfathomable fashion, I would repeat them over and over again.
SOURCE: GIPHY
I never paid any mind to the fact that I was still single until about 2 and a half years into my older sister’s relationship. Now it was (and still is) nothing like what Jack & Rose, Harry & Sally, or what Baby & Johnny had, but it is still love in its own way, which is something I have always dreamed of having. Unfortunately, though, these films and TV shows gave me a pessimist mindset when it comes to finding love and building a relationship because I knew that it would not be the same.
I would not meet a sweet, charming, and absolutely stunning 164-year-old vampire and his even dreamier older brother and have to choose between them like Elena in The Vampire Diaries or meet a bunch of interesting men, and settle for a rich guy who (sometimes) treats me right like Mr. Big in Sex & The City. What are young girls supposed to expect from a relationship when, for the most part, we watch the women on our TV screens getting treated like princesses and always ending up with the perfect guy?
SOURCE: REPELLER, POPSUGAR, Vanity Fair, & Buzzfeed
In these COVID times, it’s hard to even meet a guy— let alone the perfect guy. Currently, I am still wearing a mask at work, which does not help with the single situation since no potential candidates can even see my face. I am also an online student, so you could imagine my dilemma(s). I’m not into dating apps and websites, so I guess I just have to be patient. But still, it is excruciatingly heartbreaking to see happy (and totally unrealistic) relationships form in so many films and shows, while still being unapologetically single.
I’m still young though, right? I’ll meet someone, right? Yes, and yes— maybe? Not to sound repetitive and completely desperate but, how is it possible to find someone when you do not even know where or if you should even bother looking? Why can’t someone just fall right into my life, or into my home dressed as my knight in shining armor like in Romeo & Juliet (without the dying of course)?
sOURCE: giphy
Maybe I should start my own TV show or make my own movie about girls who have been single their whole lives, and have yet to meet a decent guy, or gal, to introduce to their parents, or even buy them a cup of coffee. Not to say that these films and TV shows are not enjoyable because DUH, we watch them again and again until we’ve literally memorized every line. I’m just saying, it would be a little nice to enjoy a nice hot plate of relationship reality for a while, you know?