How To Spend Your Stimulus Check

Times are hard, but I think by now we’re all settling into quarantine quite nicely—sans the desperate and gnawing ache for human interaction outside of the people we’ve been forced to isolate with (sorry, Mom and Dad). There’s one thing proving to be a quasi-successful, ongoing tactic forged by millenials, xennials and the infamous zoomers of the world: spending money. Many people, especially millennials and a narrow subset of zoomers, are benefitting quite nicely from the government stimulus package in which the U.S. government dictated the IRS to deposit $1,200 (or more) directly into our bank accounts to last for eight to ten weeks. Now, if you met the criteria to receive this money, I have some suggestions on how you can spend it according to your quarantine needs.

Hair Dye

Does your rent need to be paid? Struggling to keep the lights on? Having a hard time feeding yourself meals that aren’t fast food or canned goods that have been rolling around in your cabinets for the last six years? Well, $1,200 isn’t going to cover all that, so I suggest buying hair dye for the inevitable mental break you’ll have. If you have dark hair, I recommend also splurging on some safe bleaching products too, like Olaplex, which can be added to bleach to create a smoother transition from dark to light, and helps to avoid frying your hair off by doing at-home bleaching. Here’s a guide for using Olaplex with bleaching at home. My favorite hair dye brands are RAW, oVertone, and Manic Panic for bright colors, like pink, blue, red or green. For more traditional colors, stick to the tried-and-true L’Oreal or Clairol hair dyes.

Also, might as well buy a new pair of shears while you’re at it. Cutting your own bangs is trending on TikTok right now. Actually, maybe grab some buzzers, too. Shaving your head is also getting hits.

Swimsuits

Laying in bed daydreaming about white sand beaches and the ocean crashing peacefully around you? Me too. However, we can’t fly to Bali right now, and $1,200 isn’t enough to cover that roundtrip ticket anyway. Here’s what you can do: buy swimsuits optimistically. Now, hear me out on this one. Forget about cheap swimsuits from Forever21, Zaful, Romwe and the like—they’ll fall apart after two authentic uses. With your newfound wealth, you can now splurge on the more sustainable options—companies like Summersalt, Madewell, even Athleta. The best part? You can actually still wear them while basking in the sun. You can sit in front of the only window in your apartment that has direct sunlight, right next to your radiator, and pretend that you’re on the beach. Maybe even try grilling a steak on the radiator and crack open a cold beverage of your choice for the most robust beach experience you can achieve while indoors. If you don’t have roommates and want to go the extra mile, you can buy ingredients for making fake sand to pour all over your apartment floor.

The overarching value of buying these swimsuits now is that they’ll last longer since you can’t actually go into the ocean, which will protect your suits from saltwater damage. Hurrah!

Fabric

Want to go out to buy some groceries now that your bank account just became inflated overnight? First, you’ll need a mask—it’s now required in New York state.

“Where can I get said mask, Dani?”

Well, I’m really glad you asked. You can’t get it anywhere! N95 masks (the medical-grade mask that actually protects you from virus transmission) are sold out on every single site that sells them until further notice. However, you can make your own mask! Even though making your own mask will inevitably leave you more exposed to the virus than if you were to have an N95 mask, at least you won’t get arrested when you go out to buy more boxes of pasta in bulk. Some companies you can buy fabric online from are the Online Fabric Store, Fabric, or even the ever-popular Project Runway go-to fabric store, Mood Fabrics.

With the gift of abundant time that we’ve all been given, you can also watch YouTube videos and learn how to sew, if you don’t already know how. If you want to go really crazy—maybe even buy a sewing machine so you can more effortlessly mass produce face masks for your friends and family.

Home Decor

Source: Visual Hunt — Source: *Visual Hunt*

So, your rent is paid, food is on the table, hair is now pink, vacations are cancelled, new swimsuits are rolling around in the wash. What next? An indefinite staycation! Considering we’re all locked in our homes for an undetermined amount of time, but likely for the next few months at minimum, it’s time to spice up your new favorite place: home.

Time to splurge on something random, like a colorful couch or too many fake plants to place around your apartment. If you’re rather minimal about furniture additions, try adding some shelves all over your home. These can hold the accumulated books and junk that will eventually begin to take up every surface of your home once you lose the will to clean up after yourself. For the bold and handy, I would even go so far as to recommend a hanging chair to install in your living room. Having this will be symbolic of the freedom we all once had, and will one day have again. My favorite site for furniture, aside from the obvious Ikea, is Wayfair. Try giving it a go. I’m going to do the shelves thing, if you were wondering.

Self Care

I know, I know, it seems obvious. We’re all mentally having a rough one, to say the least, so self care should be at the top of the list. There are so many things you could purchase that will help you participate in self care during quarantine—face masks, body scrubs, healthy food, new pillows—you name it. What I want to suggest is something you may not already have on hand, as simple as it is, but will help with a plethora of physical and mental issues: Bubble bath soaps and oils.

Source: Unity Point — Source: *Unity Point*

It seems trivial, I know, but hear me out. First of all, the obvious: they smell good. But then, there is the understated. I’ve done my own personal study by taking baths regularly, and I’ve found that baths do help calm the mind and take you out of what would be a loud and chaotic world. The water washes over you, allows you to believe you are elsewhere—somewhere warm, somewhere tropical—and it mentally transports you.

However, when bubbles are added, it allows you to feel like you are six years old again, and you can pretend that you are not being actively pressured by a capitalistic society to sacrifice your physical and mental health to become a cog in a machine that may ultimately never actually reward you for any of the hard work you’ve done for your entire natural life. Splashing around with suds is high on my list as an escapist tool. Some soaps I’d recommend for this are Kiehl’s Lavender Foaming Relaxing Bath wash, or the Deep Steep Rosemary Mint Bubble Bath. Give it a shot—it’s not like you have anything else to do.

DONATE

All jokes and satire aside, if you qualified for the government stimulus check and you’re pretty well-off without it, consider donating it to COVID-19 relief-related organizations. This includes (but is not limited to) helping our frontline healthcare workers and donating to local hospitals and clinics, donating to food drives, donating to homeless shelters, and donating to the World Health Organization COVID-19 Response Fund. You can also find your own state’s emergency relief fund by googling, “donate to [your state] emergency relief fund COVID-19.” Click here for New York’s.

Hopefully most of you, if not all, are spending your money responsibly on your own (real) needs aside from hair dye and bubble bath soap. But if not, I’m always happy to contribute to the frivolity of life right now and give some people some giggles. If you are having trouble with maintaining a healthy mindset, talk to your therapist or check out some online services here. Now more than ever, it is important to give yourself what you need to help you keep up with quarantine and simply not go insane. If that’s poorly cut bangs, so be it.