Should I Stay or Should I Go? — The Lexington Line

This article is an online version of the print article for the S/S ‘20 Lexington Line edition. The print version can be viewed here!

Traffic horns blaring every other second. The faint smell of litter swarming around you. A Starbucks on every corner. Strangers bumping each other out of the way to get to meetings. The intense feeling in your chest that tells you that you’re on top of the world. This is New York City.

Trumpets, violins, and voices hum in the subway. The light scent of fresh bread from the local bakeries wafts through the air. Strangers grant change to strangers as they perform on the streets. There is the sensation of a giant community all around you. This is also New York City.

What do you love or hate about New York City? Is it how fast-paced the streets are or how filthy they are? The actors in Broadway stars or all the struggling artists? Being surrounded by motivated people or selfish people? Not everyone perceives this as the greatest city in the world like I do, and having just moved here last year from Ohio, I was determined to understand why.

One perspective was provided by Lisa. She had left the city somewhat recently and definitely had quite a few unfavorable opinions about it, but it wasn’t for lack of love. She claimed, “you’re surrounded by incredibly intelligent and creative individuals who are comfortable expressing themselves. It pushes you to think and feel differently about yourself and the world.”

Perhaps it’s all about perception. New York is filled with the best of the best in art, music, fashion, technology, and so much more. People want to focus on their industry and doing what they came here to do. It’s no wonder they’re scrambling to get where they need to be.

“One time when I was coming home from SoHo, I sat next to this guy on the train and, randomly, he sparked a conversation with me. He was talking about friends and family and where he was coming from,” Lisa said. “He was so sweet, and we had a genuinely good conversation that I can’t even remember very well, but I always think of. Even though it’s something small that I’m sure happens to every New Yorker at some point, I think it really captures the beauty of the city and what happens when you throw a bunch of strangers into close quarters.”

Others shared this optimistic perspective.

“My favorite is the anticipation of the city. The city is beautiful and unique in its own way,” said Jessica, who no longer lives here but liked her time here well enough. “There is always something to do and something to see. There’s always new places to find. Seriously, everything is in New York.”

Despite Lisa’s love for New Yorkers, she still ended up leaving.

“It was too much for me, unfortunately,” she said. “I felt like I was always struggling financially. I took a hard hit mentally, and I couldn’t get past that no matter how much I engaged myself, no matter how much time I spent with friends or alone, no matter the little tricks I learned and used to make weekly chores easier.”

Lisa and I perceived expenses the same way. Prior to moving here, one of my biggest questions was, “how will I be able to afford it?” This answer sums up the financial struggles that come with this city—groceries, eating out, visiting museums, laundry, rent, all of it. Nothing is cheap, except maybe the occasional $1 pizza slice.

When she expanded on how it affected her mentally, she told me about her depression and anxiety only getting worse and how she felt completely isolated. Unfortunately, she was trying to cope with her brother’s death as well, and therapy can be expensive, so she was on her own.

“Because there really is no quiet or private place in Manhattan, I felt I had nowhere to go to grieve alone and how I wanted,” she said.

Reflecting on the difference between suburban and city life, she said, “I currently have an hour commute to my job. Some people would probably hate it. But I love it. It’s two hours a day I have to myself, in my car, alone, no one touching me, no one talking to me, no one looking at me. Whereas in NYC, I left work, had to get on the subway, surrounded by people for 30 to 40 minutes. It was non-stop human interaction.”

Other responses, surprisingly, didn’t seem to mention the money dilemma. I’m sure some people wouldn’t mind living paycheck to paycheck, and if they were really worried about cost, they might not have come here in the first place. So, what was it that really turned them away?

Jessica, who loves the city, claims her least favorite thing was how she "felt like an outcast all of the time. Everyone is always in a rush.”

Sarah, who also left the city recently, called out New Yorkers for selfishness. Another response came from Meg, who said that people may seem selfish and competitive, but there’s another way to look at it.

“The city treats you well if you’re driven and motivated,” Meg said. As opposed to the others, she continues to live and thrive in the city. New York City, then, may not be for people looking to find themselves, but for those who already know what they are looking for. Sure, maybe that makes them competitive, but if you’ve worked hard, why would you let anyone stand in your way?

So, what is the “it factor” of New York City? I’d say the best answer is the people. It’s true that there is competition everywhere, and some people aren’t going to support you if they see you as an opponent, but it can be incredibly motivating at the same time. It’s no lie that some people can’t handle it, but if you’re ready for it, then the city is ready for you.

*All names have been changed as requested by the sources.