Growing Up Black in a White American School
Source: Society 19
Growing up in a predominantly white school district, the majority of us non-whites did not experience a diverse class until we went to one of two high schools, and even then we were largely outnumbered. A New York State Education Department archive shows that in 2012—the year I entered 9th grade—the number of Black or African-American enrollees was 264 or 14% at my high school. Compared to the number of white enrollees of 1,232 or 66%, there was and still is a serious major racial disparity. It’s not entirely surprising given that Long Island is one of the top 10 segregated metropolitan areas in the United States. My teachers used to say that our school was one of the most diverse schools in the country; they were wrong. People of color and their cultures were completely excluded.
Unlike many other public schools across America, the one I attended was catered to the children of the wealthy and educated. According to Census Reporter, the area covering the school district has a median household income of over $130,000, which is more than double of New York State. Over 95% of the district’s adult population is high-school educated and over 60% of the population has a Bachelor's degree or higher. Our parents are a highly educated and successful group of doctors, lawyers, engineers, hedge fund managers, Wall Street analysts, civil servants, and business owners. Given the money and education a majority of the students had access to, you would think people would be less prejudiced and more educated on how to properly act towards any person of color. However, racism exists everywhere, regardless of one’s socioeconomic status.
To continue being an ally, I asked some of my former classmates the hard questions—the ones you don’t think of when you’re gossiping about a cute boy at lunch, complaining about a teacher, or comparing notes for homework. I believe it is important to use my privilege, as well as my platform, to amplify Black voices that will provide insight into what it truly means to be Black in America—starting with those I grew up with who went to a majority white high school.
The following interview was conducted with four of my former classmates, all of whom I have known for many years. All of their names, personal information, and school identification have been redacted, changed, or left out for privacy purposes.
Source: RT
As a Black person, what was a traumatic racist experience you encountered at our high school?
Alexa: The district itself was so racist that the instances seemed to blur together. I’m sure that there were many overt instances—most of which I have chosen to block out from my memory as they are painful to relive. Many instances were covert racism and what seemed to be a highly intentional attempt to widen the education gap between Blacks and whites in our school. Teachers and academic advisors would hold Black students back to keep us out of the more elite classes.
Brianna: I don't really have a very vivid memory of racism at our school. But I always felt some kind of divide within the community.
Ashley: When I was on the volleyball team, I used to hate when they would start playing “Black music.” All the girls would come over to me and tell me to start dancing. They would circle me and sometimes make videos. I always felt like I was an animal at the zoo with people cheering and taking pictures of me. I told them I was shy and that I didn’t like dancing so they would stop asking me. But then I saw them asking the other Black girl on my team; it was hard to watch.
Lauren: I originally went to a predominantly West-Indian school in Queens, so moving into the white school district was an adjustment. My first few days were a bit strange because there weren't a lot of Black students. It was obvious that the Black experience was not a priority there. Around the time that Trayvon Martin was killed and the Black Lives Matter protests began, some students and I spoke to an advisor about doing a silent protest in honor of Trayvon, but it was quickly shut down. Someone who looked like me was killed for no reason and no one seemed to care.
What are some microaggressions you faced from students, teachers, coaches, faculty, and our administrators?
Alexa: “You know I don’t even really consider you Black.” “You talk like you’re white; you’re so well-spoken.” “You could never get into a good school.” After I got into a good school: “You only got in because you’re Black.” “Can I touch your hair?”
Brianna: “You’re pretty for a Black girl.” “You have such good hair for your background.” “That color surprisingly works with your skin tone.”
Ashley: All the time, I would hear that I was “pretty for a Black girl.” That one hurt me a lot, but the worst one I would hear is when people would be shocked at my voice. They would say, “You sound so proper.” When I kept pushing to find out what they meant, I would get the occasional “you sound like a white girl.” How can people think they can say that to me and think that’s a compliment?
Lauren: “Where’s the rest of your hair?” “Is that your real hair?” “She’s bald; she doesn’t have enough hair.”
Did you ever face any forms of racism based on your hair, clothing choices, preference of music, family culture, etc.?
Alexa: No, but I wore my hair straight for all of the school to avoid that. I hid myself to make whites more comfortable and avoid having teachers negatively thinking of me.
Briana: People would call me an “Oreo” based on how I dressed, which in their opinion was a Long Island white girl; the kind of music that I listened to; and also based on the way I spoke—“speaking white.”
Ashley: People would touch my hair without even asking. Girls would say, “Can I braid your braids?” They thought it was the funniest joke. One time in class, I heard these two girls whispering behind me, but I didn’t hear what they were saying. Then, I felt someone very lightly pull on one of my braids. I turned around, looked at her, and then pulled my hair to the front of my shoulders. Once the class was over, the other girl that she was talking to stopped me. She wanted me to know that the girl was trying to unbraid one of my braids so she could pull the extension out. I never told anyone that story because I was embarrassed. Still to this day, I get very uncomfortable when anyone touches my hair. I didn't know how much it bothered me until I got in the biggest fight with my ex for touching my hair all the time.
Lauren: My hair has always been important to me, but I didn’t realize why it was so important until I got older. One of the most difficult things about being a Black girl is being comfortable and confident with your hair, especially when other people aren’t. I stopped wearing my natural hair in middle school. It was always about having straight, long, shiny hair, but my hair wasn't long. Also, if I brought food from home, I would always get asked what I was eating. I always dreaded that because I hated explaining something they’d never seen before. I knew that because they didn’t understand it, they'd make jokes about it and no one wants to be the butt of a joke.
What do you believe was the biggest racial problem at our high school?
Alexa: The education gap and elitist teachers who keep minorities out of advanced classes. Socially, students loved Black culture—hair, the way they thought Black kids act, excessive tanning to get more melanin, hip hop and rap music, having Black athlete boyfriends/friends. But they are the same people I see the most silent when it comes to standing up for Black lives.
Brianna: I think the biggest racial problem was that everyone would put a good amount of minorities into stereotype groups. For example, “ratchets” (Black girls), “potheads” (Black guys who didn't do sports, with the occasional white person in there), “weird nerds” (the Indian and Asian kids who were super smart). I think the only thing that kept minorities and white kids in unity was sports. I highly doubt that they would’ve become “friends.”
Ashley: 95% of the white kids thought it was okay to say the N-word. I don't even say it, so for a lot of them to think it was cool was disgusting.. A teacher would say “cut it out” and that was it. They never got in trouble for it. One time in my science class a white student was annoying a Black student, so he said the N-word. Our teacher sent the Black student to the principal's office for it.
Lauren: I think the biggest racial problem was definitely the bias. As far as academics were concerned, we never discussed Black history outside of slavery, MLK, Malcolm X, and Rosa Parks. With honors and AP courses, it was extremely difficult to get into those courses. I think a lot of that stems from Black students not having access to certain resources or not knowing all they had to do was show interest in those courses and they would be in them.
What ingrained biases did you see from students, teachers, coaches, faculty, and our administrators?
Alexa: If you were white, you were a class favorite. You got the best recommendation letters for college, the best school support system, and teachers would help them out when it came to grades—even on standardized tests; this came to light in our district a few years ago.
Brianna: I think the only engraved bias I saw was from certain teachers who expected all Black students to act out based on past issues. They assume we are meant to mess up until they get to know each of us, and even then some of them still didn't really like us.
Ashley: It was a bunch of little things. Every time the cafeteria would serve fried chicken, I would hear a million jokes. Since I was on the track team, people would say, “Of course you’re fast.” Every time it rained someone would tell me, “I thought you can't get your hair wet?” I would hear these same comments like clockwork to the point where I couldn't even be mad anymore.
Lauren: If you wore the wrong thing or people found out you were from [a primarily Black area], people looked at you differently. Money isn't something we worry about as kids, but at our school, if it looks like you don't have any, you're judged for it. If you acted a certain way or you hung out with people who acted that way, you were judged. The Black kids were always assumed to have less and act “ratchet” or “ghetto.”
Did any of the people who were your friends at our high school become aggressive towards you when you began expressing yourself after the death of George Floyd and during the current protests in support of the BLM movement across the country?
Alexa: No.
Brianna: I never kept friends that I felt were even in the slightest racist or prejudiced.
Ashley: My mental health has gone through a lot, to the point where I had to turn my phone and laptop off for a full 24 hours. I have had friends who only talk about the negative parts of the riots and looting. They tried to say just because they are white, it doesn't mean they have privilege. [Someone else] said she hates what happened to George Floyd but that looting doesn't solve anything and she can post whatever she wants, which is true but inexcusable. Later, someone else showed me that she later posted that I was “uneducated” and asked “if anyone would like to have a discussion with me about what’s going on instead of being an idiot.” I didn't go out of my way to reply to someone who called me their friend but then would disrespect me publicly the way she did.
Lauren: Not to me, but I did see one of my peers have an exchange with another one of our peers. Obviously over the last few weeks, social media has been filled with protest information, links to petitions, links to bailout funds, links to mutual funds, and videos of protests/riots. If we see that you have not posted anything about what's going on, we're going to assume that you do not care. A lot of people who chose not to speak up decided to speak out against the protests/riots without knowing the extent of what was happening. My peer called her out to fully understand her stance on the issues. The person became very defensive and basically chose not to speak on the issue because she was clearly indifferent about the reasons for the protests/riots.
What do you think our community can do to help successfully promote and stand in solidarity with you for the BLM movement?
Alexa: Focus on lessening the education gap immediately. The school district is intentionally keeping minorities behind so that they are not competing against their favorite white students for colleges. There needs to be a counselor for diversity and inclusion for the school—one skilled in psych and college counseling and someone that students can talk to. Teachers need to be held accountable for their racist actions. There needs to be more Black career coaches, college advisors, and teachers. Encourage minorities to participate in advanced classes and leadership positions around the school instead of sports. Guide them to amazing futures in impactful careers like they do with white students.
Brianna: My suggestion to everyone would be to educate yourselves. There is a whole section on Netflix that focuses on the BLM movement. Watch some of them. Read up on it if you're a reader. You have a search bar on your phones and computers—use them. Sign petitions and donate what you can. Vote in the next election and be smart about who you choose.
Ashley: I had to educate myself on my culture because our school systems show us the bare minimum and not the full truth. Especially during these times, it is very easy to search up the in-depth problems and struggles that Black people go through and what can be done to change the system. I think our school district should implement a required class about Black culture and how we widely contributed to a society that makes America what it is today. If they put these requirements, there would be a much better understanding of the future generations and for the few Black kids to learn more about themselves.
Lauren: I think everyone needs to reevaluate their complicity in racism. Listen to the black community. Stop telling us that you'll never understand because truthfully we're not going to get anywhere if you don't. Right now we must be united and well informed. Don't get comfortable. We have to keep signing, sharing, protesting, donating, fighting until actual change and reform comes about.
Is there anything else you want to share regarding your personal experience with racial issues?
Alexa: Our school district is inherently racist on every single level. The overwhelming majority of minority students that have come out of there will agree. If this comes as a shock to directors in the district, it’s because they never asked, they never checked in, and we had no one to protect us or report to.
Brianna: Something other women of color and I have had to deal with our whole lives living in Long Island and the ones who went to our high school: Black men that only date white girls. A Black boy who I considered a friend one day said to me in the hallway, “You are kinda pretty. I would date you if I wasn’t only into white girls.” Trust and believe, he got a mouth full.
Ashley: There are so many things that have happened to me that I can’t remember because it was too traumatizing and I wanted to block it out of my memory. Sometimes when I had another Black student or even two in a class, I was so relieved. I have been pulled over eight times for no reason for living in my predominantly white neighborhood. One time, the cop pulled me over in front of my own house and watched me walk into it to prove that I live there. When you’re Black, especially in a white community, you have to grow up faster and be very attentive to your surroundings and the way people communicate with you. When I have children, I do not want them to go through half of what I went through. I am manifesting that they won’t.
Lauren: Racism is so much more than the textbook definition. It requires deep study to fully understand, whether you're Black or not. Take the time to educate yourselves on all of the "-isms" and how they work together. It is not okay that Black people are not safe to sleep in their own beds, jog in their neighborhoods, go to the park, etc. We tried saying enough is enough, and now we have to fight to make it better.
With the Black Lives Matter Movement, it is incredibly easy to proclaim “I stand with Black people” and “I’m not racist.” Yet, the bitter truth is that so many of us who are not Black are unable to face that all of us have participated, willingly or subconsciously, to systemic racism. That misconstrued view contributed to the historical issues that have plagued our country for over 400 years.