The Chronically Single Person’s Guide to Cuffing Season
If you’re in the same boat as me, the term cuffing season is a foreign idea. Cuffing Season, as defined by Merriam Webster, is “a period of time where single people begin looking for short-term partnerships to pass the colder months of the year.” The trials and tribulations of finding a partner, before it drops to below freezing, are seriously stressful.
Rather than going out and becoming acquainted with multiple people, the idea is to find one person to spend time with for the entire season. This gives you a fast pass to the comfortable stage of a relationship. The premise of “Cuffing Season” is that once it gets warm, the relationship will promptly end.
“Cuffing” goes deeper than you may realize. While the scientific term might not agree, colder weather does cause an instinctual urge to mate. We tend to struggle more physiologically during the winter with having less time spent outdoors, being prone to illness, and the overall stress of the holidays.
Some people might find themselves feeling down, or could even develop Seasonal Affective Disorder, a type of depression that’s related to the changing seasons. Due to less exposure to the sun, our serotonin levels drop. Coincidentally, one of the cures for the ‘winter blues’ is physical touch, or in other words, cuddling. It’s been proven that cuddling and other forms of consensual social touch release oxytocin, a hormone known to be linked to social bonding, which in return, causes the release of dopamine and serotonin.
If this sounds compelling to you, you may have decided that you’d like to take part in the annual ritual. Here are some things to keep in mind.
Decide What You Want
Before diving into the dating app sinkhole for the season, sit down and think about what your intentions are: Do you want a date for Christmas dinner? Someone to take your Instagram pictures at the pumpkin patch? A New Year’s kiss? Or do you just want someone to cuddle with on those especially cold nights? Whatever it may be, there’s no right or wrong answer. The best way to figure this out is to take a second and make a list of what you’re genuinely looking for.
Don’t Settle for Just Anyone
I know that it may be easier to rush and find the first person to shack up with before it’s “too late”, but this is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. If you don’t feel 100% sure you want to continue dating someone, don’t let the pressure get to you. Whether it be a temporary fling or not, you should always put your needs first!
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Setting boundaries and communicating are vital for any relationship’s survival. So, don’t skip this step just because you’re in a temporary pairing. Everyone has their own idea of what they consider ‘casual’, so it is important to have that discussion. Are they meeting your friends? Are you expecting a Christmas present? Are they even comfortable being featured on your Instagram story? Having these types of conversations is essential to avoiding mixed signals and uncomfortable moments.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
During your endeavors, it may start to feel like you’re running out of time to get “cuffed”. If all of your friends are finding a new partner while you’re still rummaging through Tinder messages to find a date, do not panic! It is important to take a deep breath and remember that everything happens for a reason. Instead, take this time to focus on relationships with friends, family, and yourself. Order a boyfriend pillow, turn your heater all the way up, and dream about April showers…
Whether you’re on the lookout for a significant other, or are laying low this cuffing season, remember that it is important you constantly remind yourself of your needs. At the end of the day, the most important relationship you have is with yourself. As the colder months approach, be sure to ask yourself: “Do I want to be cuffed?”