Show Your Shadow: How to Tap Into Your Dark Feminine Energy
*Article from Lexington Line's Autumn/Winter 2022 Issue, pages 76-77
Check out the full issue here
When “Dark Feminism” emerged as a trend on TikTok this year, much of the conversation focused on getting men to become obsessed with you or getting your crush — maybe your ex — to text you. The resulting “confidence” prioritizes male attention and ignores the truly empowering part of dark feminism: finding and keeping boundaries, being assertive and dominant, and feeling confident with your own sensual energy.
This version of dark feminism means empowering yourself by shifting from a wounded mindset. The dark feminist woman becomes magnetic, seductive, powerful, and authentic. You may already know some of these women in your life. You might find them intimidating, desirable, or inspiring.
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There are only a few creators on TikTok that engage with the idea without making it about summoning a romantic partner. Creator @countinghercoin produced a series of videos earlier this year on the process of tapping into the dark feminine; this includes shadow work, which is journaling and facing inner shame, regret, anger, and limiting beliefs.
Shadow work introduces you to the dark parts of yourself that you might find undesirable. It's coming face to face with the limiting beliefs you've had about yourself for so long — your dark shadow.
Shadow work is a journey and does not happen all at once. It is a process of questioning and discovering what you've repressed to eventually heal your wounded self. Carl Jung, who is known as one of the fathers of modern psychology, developed the shadow work approach more than 80 years ago.
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is,” Jung wrote in 1938's Psychology and Religion. “If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it… but if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected.”
Shadow work is primarily done by journaling and using prompts that allow for deep submersion in your own thoughts. The shadow self can develop from past trauma, social norms, or anything that strongly affects others, so it's important to tread lightly when practicing or have guidance from a professional like a therapist.
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Try Some Shadow Work
Here are some examples of questions you might consider answering in your journal:
Do certain traits in others stir up out-of-proportion emotions or reactions in you? Who do you look up to? What qualities do you see in people you admire?
What was one time you remember feeling wronged as a child? How has this affected you in adulthood?
What's one trait you see in other people that you wish you had? Why don't you possess this characteristic yourself?
What toxic traits have you recognized in your parents? How did it make you feel when you realized that your parents weren't perfect? Do you possess these traits yourself?