Navigating the Dating World as a Young Woman of Color

As society progresses, so does the world of dating. In 1995, the first dating website, Match.com, was created. From there, many different types of dating services emerged. The most notable dating app is currently Tinder. The app lets you swipe left or right on people in your area. They appear on your feed based on their bio and the multiple photos they post.

Now, if Tinder doesn’t sound appealing to you—there are tons of different apps and platforms that fit different types of daters. Catholic Match is a dating site for people who are Catholic and want to date within their faith. There are even websites specifically for people of color like Black People Meet and Asian Date.

With all of these platforms, shouldn’t it make dating in this day and age much easier? Well, the answer is no. According to Pew Research, 55% of women say that dating has gotten much harder in the past 10 years. Of the 55% of respondents, 54% were Black women and 42% were Hispanic women. So, I really want to know, what is it truly like dating as a woman of color?

Women of color is a broad term, covering a wide range of ethnicities and races. Dating experiences can vary from person to person, but as a Black woman myself, I have been having a hard time. So, I checked in with some of my female peers to see if they felt the same.

The majority of women used what I call ‘The Big 3’—Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. They felt that the men they met on the apps were just looking for sex or friends with benefits situations. The women also shared their experiences with the many fetishized remarks they received on the platforms. Based on their commentary, my peers seem to not have hope for the dating world.

“Guys at this age don’t really have the best intentions,” they express.

I’ve also shared the same experiences my peers opened up to me about. Navigating through the dating world while being young is difficult—and negative stereotypes placed on Black women don’t help. During my research and looking back on my dating journey, I have learned a few things.

First things first, you should never compromise yourself for anyone. You should not have to change your personality for anyone while dating. The right person will accept you as you are.

The second is to be aware of red flags when dating outside of your culture. Many men will pursue women because of certain stereotypes surrounding them. You should be with someone open to understanding and learning about your background and not fetishizing it.

Finally, as cliché as it sounds, the right person will come along when you least expect it. It’s okay to be open to dating and to use dating apps, but I truly believe someone will find you when you are not looking for them.

As women of color, we go through many hardships navigating the dating world. Because of that, I want to leave you with words of encouragement. We are all worthy of love. That perfect relationship you are hoping for will come someday down the line. Always protect your heart and remember that you only deserve the best!

If you do choose to use dating apps, please be cautious of the dangers and stay safe.