Long Distance Relationships: Not Like The Movies
One thing almost everyone has in common is their love for movies. Some like comedies, others like romance, and there are even those who like scary movies. However, movies can be a double edged sword. They set unrealistic expectations on relationships, beauty, and life, showing how it’s “supposed to be.” This is especially true for their portrayal of long distance relationships.
Whether you are a hopeless romantic or a philophobic, movies about long distance relationships are typically not a good representation of what they actually entail. Often times, they show what people want them to be like and will gloss over much of the obstacles.
As a newlywed in a long distance marriage, I can testify that these types of movies do not mirror reality. While most people want their relationships to reflect Noah and Allie from “The Notebook,” that is rarely the case. Issues in relationships are not resolved in under three hours like movies illustrate; it’s just not real life. There will always be arguments that couples must work together to resolve in order to move forward together. Most people will not wait 20 years to be with someone or build their dream home after not talking for many years, like the couple in “The Notebook.”
In my personal experience, communication is key. Talking to your partner every day and visiting them as often as you can is vital to having a healthy long distance relationship. You can also do things like watch a TV show together, so you have something to look forward to while talking with your partner. When we are apart, my husband and I schedule time to FaceTime each other, and I also send him funny videos and GIFs to share a needed laugh. We also like to plan ahead and schedule trips to see each other as often as possible.
It’s also important to understand that people get busy and may not always have time to talk as frequently. For some couples, once the relationship becomes too hard they make big decisions alone and cut each other out. We see this happening in newer movies like “The Kissing Booth 2.” As soon as Noah, Elle’s boyfriend, goes off to college, the communication between them starts to break down. Elle ghosts Noah because she does not want to be that clingy girlfriend, but neither of them ever communicate how they’ve been feeling through their time apart. They needed communication, people!
The biggest takeaway one should have is that long distance relationships are hard and require a lot of work. Do not get discouraged if it’s not similar to how they appear in the movies. Movies like “The Notebook,” “Dear John,” and “Going the Distance” highlight the romance of relationships but realistically, we need to remember that relationships take hard work to be successful, and they don’t always work out. But who knows; maybe your real life love story will be even better than your average romance movie.