“Where’s Your Heart Leading You?”—Is It Love, or Location?
It was time for tea and long conversations in our kitchen late at night. My flatmates and I talked about our lives and the dreams we have. But one topic always stands out between us: the dating world and love.
It started with one question “How do we feel about love?” each of us answered but my answer seemed more complex than theirs. That’s when I asked myself “Am I dating in the right place?”
Women my age are constantly talking about dating, especially on TikTok. It is so common for you to see someone upload a video about their dating experiences. @BeccaMoore on TikTok tells her viewers about a bad date.
“A guy that I had a crush on forever slid into my DM’s and asked if I wanted to get dinner with him,” she says. She goes on to say how she went on the date and there was another girl there as well. He was dating both at the same time.
I felt I had horrible luck. Even though I have never gone on a true date. What I had was simply one long-term high school relationship and though it felt real it wasn’t. But men who have talked to me never go further than simply talking.
Europe has a certain fascination with its charming accents, cobblestone alleyways, and the promise of passionate, wine-fueled love relationships. Conversely, there is the classic American dream—which is dynamic, aspirational, and brimming with possibilities.
Which location is the secret to fulfilling our truest desires?
I decided to turn to my three trusty flatmates. They thought about my situation and whether they felt there was truly a difference if I were to date in Europe instead of America.
IAN
“Men in Paris or Europe in general are taught to go up to a woman and talk to her first,” Ian says.
I asked if they actually take that step and he explained that they do, but he won’t. He goes on to say, “It’s an ego and shy thing as well, sometimes I just do not want to bother.”
Next, he told me about his Parisian friends, two of whom are now single. Evan is quite self-assured and doesn't hesitate to approach someone. “It’s simply because he wants to,” Ian says.
Tony is distinctive. He overthinks his conversations with ladies, always finds himself in the "Friend Zone," and occasionally at a loss for words.
That's when Ian said something interesting to me. After discussing his two friends, he stated that Tony wanted advice. He couldn't think of anything to say to a girl.
"Well meet her," Evan simply said. “Why are you talking? When you can just check to see if there's a connection right away."
Ian talks about his friend group and how communication is important to them, but that there are also men in Europe who are not as open. Drawing on experiences in my social life and relationships with men, I asked him if he believed that women would do better dating in Europe.
"Yes, given that the two countries differ from one another, but this is a matter of culture," he says.
ELENA
When my other flatmate Elena mentioned that she had been lucky in her dating life, I gave the response a lot of thinking.
She recently got into a situation with a guy in London, yet their friendship remains.
“He was a nice guy. But the morning after he was very distant, and it made me feel bad. So, I just texted him and explained how I felt. Which led to a good friendship,” she says.
It got me wondering whether there was more I could do to express my emotions. It will certainly make things simpler, but not every man will be so understanding.
“Talking and texting is okay but the connection in real life is way more important,” Elena says. “And some European men can be jerks too,” Elena says.
Perhaps it is better to meet the individual rather than try to chat and then meet. She continues by stating that she maintains friendships with the guys she has dated. However, my experiences have not been friendship-worthy.
I asked her the big question: should women date in Europe?
“It doesn’t matter where you date there is no difference to me. It’s more about who the person is and trusting yourself,” she says.
NATALIE
As I listened to Natalie’s wise words, I couldn’t help but wonder about her insight.
“People are emotionally unavailable nowadays,” she says. “I’ve had a lot of bad relationship experiences and above all, I’d say it’s a lack of communication.”
Natalie’s response made a lasting impact. Maybe we've lost sight of emotional connection in a world where swiping left or right gives us rapid satisfaction.
“I haven’t found love in Germany but that doesn’t mean I can’t find it in Europe,” Natalie says. “Dating is one of the most complex topics ever. Is there such thing as true love or not?”
So, here’s the thing my dear readers: Love is borderless. It is indifferent to location or cultural distinctions. Your personal path of self-discovery is what really counts.
The gems of knowledge you discover will be the things you value most in the long run. Keep your hearts open and your passports ready.
Love, like fashion, knows no boundaries, and the world is your runway. After all, each step you take is a chapter in the story of your fabulous life.