The World of Weird Apps — The Lexington Line

What’s the weirdest app you have on your phone? Before worrying about coronavirus took up my mind, I used to be on apps like Co-Star. Turns out, there are even wackier apps out there—so I did some research and cultivated a list of the ones that are the most bizarre. Welcome to the world of weird apps!

1. HOLD ON!

The objective of this game is to hold the button on the app for as long as humanly possible. The longer you can hold on, the higher your score will be. Hold on long enough, and you might even earn a spot on the leaderboard. I don’t know what’s worse—the fact that at one point, over 3,000 people paid for this app, or the first review.

2. Demotivational Maker

Sometimes, positivity is overrated and you just want to wallow. There’s an app for that. Put your creative juices to the test and create demotivational pictures. I must mention, it only has two out of five stars, though, that’s what I would expect from a demotivational app.

3. I am Bread

This is a simulation app where a slice of bread is on a quest to become toast. There are many levels and obstacles on the path of greatness to become toast. You must be wary of other contaminants on the floor that will decrease your bread’s edibility. You must also be vigilant against the sticker shock! This app also costs $4.99.

4. Sausage Legend

This app is a fighting game between sausages. According to the Sausage Legend App, “the sausage will react realistically.” I just have one question: what, exactly, are the sausages fighting about?

5. RunPee

This one is actually my favorite app because it’s actually kind of useful. Ever have to pee at the movies, but didn’t know when to go? Fear of missing something crucial while in the bathroom? Fear no more. RunPee vibrates to let you know that it’s a good time to excuse yourself to the bathroom. It will even let you know if there’s an ending credit in the movie you’re watching.

6. S.M.T. H. (Send Me To Heaven)

Now, this app tracks how high you can throw your phone. Disclaimer: when you break your phone, maybe don’t mention your usage of this app. It probably won’t be covered by your warranty.

7. Places I’ve Pooped

This app comes with a tagline like, “Drop a pin and mark your territory.” I’m sure you can figure out what this app is for. The real question is, why does anyone want this app?

8. Plumber Crack

You toss ice cubes into the exposed plumber’s behind. You can earn rewards and stack up coins by continuing to get ice in the plumber’s crack continuously. Once you have enough coins, you can upgrade your plumber by buying them new outfits and tattoos. Also, there’s a girl plumber, because women can be plumbers too. Talk about #equality.

Source: Download

9. Ugly Meter

Want to ruin your self-esteem? Use this app to quantify how ugly you are on a scale of 1 to 10. It does this by scanning the details of your face, but don’t worry! This app will also tell you why you earned the score you did.

10. Milk the Cow

The goal is simple. You need to fill the bucket with milk in the shortest amount of time possible. Udderly useless, if you ask me.

There are a lot of weird, niche apps floating around out there. Which one are you secretly dying to download first? Don’t worry no one will know or blame you—and what else are you going to do while social distancing?